Lenten season is the time calling Christian turn to God from their sinfulness. However, we sometimes feel that our fault are too big so that they cover God’s mercy. One time, in reading the book The Cloud of Unknowing, a sentence touches me very deeply on God’s love for me, a sinner: “Let the wonderful transcendence and goodness of God teach you humility rather than the thought of your own sinfulness.” (Chapter 23, The Cloud of Unknowing)
After we committed sin, usually we look into our sin and feel sorrow, painful because we think we hurt God’s love. If we look our sinfulness, they are always in front of us. In that way we may become humble but also may fall down again even despair.
We are sinners but in God’s love and mercy, we are never less value because of our sin. Let all our focus is not on our failings but on the wonderful transcendence and goodness of God. Like the penitent woman who ‘loved much’ turned to God with her sins. In her heart she knew in certainty that she was the most wretched sinner, cut off by God by her deeds but she did not fall down and wallow in her sins. She did not fall into a new sin by despairing and feeling sorry for herself. She fastened her love to God. Her sins are forgiven because she loved much.
God’s love and mercy are greater than our sinfulness. Perfect humility is not recognizing our faults, but recognizing that God is so much further than us and still comes down to save us in our sins. Julian of Norwich said that sin is an honor to man because God’s love is revealed in sinner.
We are weak and fallen. We need God’s mercy but in some sense, God’s mercy needs our sinfulness to show his love, his care for us. Sorrow for sin is necessary, but should not be a preoccupation. Our eyes must be always towards God. For Bernard, It’s never enough to confront ourselves in the courtroom of private conscience. We can feel lost in that bitterness. We should look at ourselves in communion with the merciful God.
In our humility we should come to thank our own faults for that let us know Christ in his mercy. This is part of the Happy Fault. Therefore, Let the wonderful transcendence and goodness of God teach us humility rather than the thought of our own sinfulness.
Sr. Cecilia Thùy Trang
HD. Mến Thánh Giá Thủ Đức
